l, let's just
say the meter hit triple digits in record time.
And then there's Edward Furlong, that stringy kid who
played John Connor in Terminator 2. Now, I bet
you think I'm going to tear into Ed here, but actually
... I like the guy. He's done some damn fine work,
especially in movies like Pecker and American
History X, but there's just no way around the simple
truth: Asking Edward Furlong to play a scary, tragic,
undead vigilante is like asking Richard Simmons to play
George Clooney. Since most of the movie deals with
Furlong as the Crow-type ass-kicker, you can of course
expect to giggle non-stop as Wicked Prayer churns
on. Frankly, Furlong in full-on Crow m
Get a load of the two audio commentaries,
one with director Lance Mungia and producer Jeff Most,
and the other with Mungia, cinematographer Kurt Brabbee,
editor Dean Holland, and sound designer Steven Avila.
And I'm asking you as a favor, because, let's be honest,
life's way too short to spend listening to TWO audio
commentaries for The Crow: Wicked Prayer. Even
the meaningless life of a movie geek DVD critic. Mr.
Most gets things started by informing us that not only
was he the producer, but also the co-screenwriter, the
music supervisor, and the second unit director. Mungia
chuckles and says he was also the caterer and a
bottle-washer. Already my temples are beginning to
throb. And then not 58 seconds into the commentary, as
the opening credit sequence plays, Mr. Most says "We're
seeing these names pop up here..."
I fully admit that this is when I chose to employ the
Chapter Skip button on my remote.
Chapter 2 - "The kids were not actually lit on
Chapter 4 - "The family atmosphere on set and,
obviously, what you see on film was really, um, a result
of this story being about people who all knew each
Chapter 5 - "Lady Macbeth, there." (While
referring to Tara Reid's character.)
Chapter 7 - "The only huge deal is, at the end
of the day, you have something to watch."
Chapter 9 - "One of the things that really
impressed me about him was, in his background, he had
done community theater in Bakersfield."
Chapter 13 - After the director tries about
six times to get a word in edge-wise, Mr. Most yields
the floor and Mungia delivers this pearl: "Very easily,
it could have just happened that you were in it for a
paycheck, I was in it for a paycheck, we were just gonna
crank something else out and cash in on the
franchise..." and then trails off while explaining how
that isn't what happened. I was laughing too hard
to hear it all that clearly.
As far as the second commentary goes, well, feel free
to give it a spin and submit your own mini-review of the
track. I'll include it right here in this blank space:
Moving on to the other supplemental material:
Wings and a Prayer: The Making of The Crow:
Wicked Prayer begins, and I find myself
desperately hoping to see that the filmmakers are aware
of the film's overwhelming silliness. And ... nope. All
the interview segments were obviously done on the
production set, which explains why everyone seems to be
talking about the movie in their "serious voice." This
combination of film clips, on-set footage, and cast/crew
interviews runs for an outlandishly self-important 30
minutes, and ends with Mr. Boreanaz reminding us that
yes, The Crow "lives inside all of us." (Sounds
El Pinto is a pointless little 2.5-minute clip
of producer Jeff Most and several crew members as they
talk about who came up with the "idea" to have "cars" in
the movie. Weird.
Black Moth Bar Storyboards is exactly what it
sounds like: A storyboard-to-movie comparison that
you'll never watch, even though it only runs 4 minutes.
Margaritas and Conversation (with producer
Jeff Most and director Lance Mungia) is a
black-and-white stroke-fest in which the filmmakers
drink alcohol, smoke cigars, and wax unceasingly
pretentious about the movie they made. Guys,
"fantastical" is not a word. The guys just ramble on for
180 back-patting seconds, clearly trying to convince the
viewer (and each other) that they've made some sort of
deep, thoughtful film worthy of lofty retrospection.
Guys, c'mon, you shot an in-name-only direct-to-video
cheapie sequel in 23 days, which Miramax then (wisely)
kept on a shelf for three years. Give us a break.
Also included are two deleted scenes, and one
must wonder what how bad a scene must be to get deleted
from a flick this dire, but I digress: entitled "The
Gathering Center" and "Rick E. Ravens," the two
sequences are presented with non-optional director's
commentary, in which Mr. Mungia explains why they were
snipped, without explaining why the rest of the movie
made the final cut.
Jamie's Attic is a 3-minute visit into the
studio of composer Jamie Christopherson. Nice to see
that professional harmonica players can still find a few
paying gigs. The composer spends more time showing his a
hidden bedroll than he does discussing the film's music,
but Jamie's wife stops by to say how much she digs
Galleries consisting of production stills and
something I can't be bothered to mess with entitled
"Wicked Prayers: A Photographic Journey" are also
included. And of course we have the standard explosion
of trailers for Sin City, Hostage,
Cursed, Dracula 3: Legacy, Hellraiser:
Hellworld, and The Prophecy series.